


Me, Myself, and You

by stardustedknuckles



Series: Tumblr Prompt Flash Fics [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bodyswap, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/F, Flash Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28586544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustedknuckles/pseuds/stardustedknuckles
Summary: Beau wakes up, and it's kind of downhill from there. Bodyswap AU, does what it says on the tin.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Series: Tumblr Prompt Flash Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094657
Comments: 12
Kudos: 147





	Me, Myself, and You

**Author's Note:**

> I was having an awful night. Many thanks to the anons who sent prompts, apologies for those I couldn't make my brain wrap around tonight.

In her defense, Beau had hit her head really hard in the earlier fight.

So when she woke up in Yasha's room, she didn't question it as much as she might have. She always had the best dreams after getting the shit kicked out of her. Call it a perk.

She stared at the flower mural on the walls surrounding her, noting the way they bent in a magic breeze and smiling to herself. She hadn't had black and white dreams until the night vision goggles, which was a weird side effect but rare enough.

In spite of the monochrome, the flowers were incredibly detailed. It wasn't that they looked like real flowers, but that she could actually see the paintbrush strokes that made them up as they bent like real petals. Damn. That was cool.

Beau wondered idly at which point in the dream Yasha was going to show up as reached out experimentally to touch a flower. She jumped as Yasha's calloused hand entered her periphery and turned. "Oh h-" She snatched her hand back, and - what. What was that. What was her voice doing. Why was the hand, full stop.

No really, what.

Beau blinked for a long, long second. She put her hand back on the wall. Yasha's hand touched the flowers, unmistakably Yasha's hand. She couldn't dream that much detail into it, rubbed the fingers together and stared at the callouses.

"Whaaaaat the fuck." There was the voice weirdness again, like she was speaking lower than usual. Which didn't make any sense, because the voice came out higher than it should have.

Beau sat up, and there was a lot of her to sit up. Her hair was heavy and everywhere and before she could reach up to touch the short bristles on the sides there came a knock from the door.

"Hello?"

Her brain was cramping, and all she could think to say was "Who is it?"

A pause. "That's a very good question. Beau?"

It sounded kind of like Yasha and it also very much did not sound like Yasha.

But dream or no, there was really only one thing to do. Beau stood - and _just kept standing_. She was already taking a step before she was ready and she just managed to keep from making a very undignified sound as she crashed to the floor with a thump that was definitely more impressive than any thump she'd made before.

Silence, then, "That happened to me too. Just stay there, I'm coming in." Beau blinked up at the door and watched it open to reveal…her. Her body, wrapped in a sheet held fisted shut in the front and her night vision goggles on. She looked down at Beau - but not far enough down - and said, "I think something happened. Is that you, Beau?"

Beau nodded dumbly. "Yasha?" Oh the voice thing was going to drive her fucking bonkers.

"Yes." Yasha the compact wonder pulled the cord to turn the lights on and took off the goggles. She looked around, then back to Beau. "I didn't look."

Beau squinted at her and sat up - yep, very fucking incorrect. "What?"

She watched her body tug at the sheet in demonstration. "I saw…I woke up very confused, but I pulled the sheet on and came to find you."

"Oh," Beau said faintly. She reached a hand to grasp her shoulder, was relieved to find shirt material. And a frankly staggering amount of muscle. "Holy shit." She moved her (large) hand down her (huge) bicep and squeezed before remembering herself. "Sorry. Um. You look good."

Five foot five of incorrect winced. "I don't think I have the ability to process that right now. Maybe later." She paused. "Beau, are you always like this?"

She sounded awed. Beau grinned. "Horny? Yeah. It's distracting, right?"

Wrong Beau eyed her. "Don't get cocky." She made another face. "Um, I think half of your confidence might be stored in here."

Beau blinked. "I mean have you seen me?"

"Okay," said the tiny ghost drowning in white fabric. She tucked the goggles into the same fist holding the sheet and offered her free hand. "We need to go find Caduceus."

Beau took the hand - holy shit, nice grip, wrong size - and made it about two feet off the ground before momentum fucked them over.

"Shit," they said simultaneously. Beau's thump was still louder.

They got up individually, carefully. For the first time, Beau noticed diadem in her - _her_ \- gods dammit - _the_ undercut. "Huh," she said.

Her tiny mirror looked up. "Can you walk?"

Beau shifted her weight. If she stopped trying to move the way she was used to, Yasha's body seemed to follow its own kind of gait. "I think so."

"Okay. Let's go get Caduceus." A small hand reached for hers. Beau took it without question and they made it all the way to the hall before either of them noticed.

"Beau," said not-Beau. "I think your body has a mind of its own."

"I keep telling people, and they never listen."

"I have a headache."

"Yeah," said Beau. "That's almost as common as the other thing, honestly."

It was weird - everything looked completely and totally wrong until she looked right at it, and then it was fine. Thankfully the trip to Caduceus's door was a short one, and Beau knocked with her big hand (and then took another moment to stare at it).

"Should we try the next one?"

Beau nodded. "Yeah let's do it."

They pushed open the first door and walked in. The world went black and white just as Yasha - it was a tentative naming, but it held - tripped over a chair leg and fell hard. "Sorry!"

"What for?" Beau reached down and hauled her up effortlessly - which, yeah she was gonna need a few days to process that.

Yasha-Beau groped for the sheet that had fallen when she did and pulled it back around herself. Beau couldn't actually be sure if her face was always that dark in black and white. "I didn't mean to -" her arms made a very Yasha motion that looked uncanny in her body - "you know, I'm not trying to show you off to everyone."

Beau opened her mouth, closed it again. "I...appreciate the gesture. Caduceus!" She picked up Yasha with one arm just to see if she could - boy, could she - and walked them to the other side of the room.

The door opened before she could pound on it and possibly break it, and Caduceus blinked at them, his hand leaving the latch to worry at the top of his other one. He looked tired, bowed a bit with sleep.

"Okay don't freak out," Beau said. She set Yasha down as an afterthought and immediately wanted to pick her up again. Maybe Yasha was onto something with the body brain thing. Focus. "Something happened, I think. Uh. Yasha and I - Beau - fuck man, we're in the wrong bodies, please help."

Caduceus looked back and forth between them. His ear twitched and he startled. "Well," he said, strained. Beau squinted at him. "You are both suddenly much smaller."

The Zemnian accent was unmistakable.

"Fuck," said Beau.

Caleb-Caduceus nodded sagely and glanced at his tail when it twitched. "Fuck," he agreed.


End file.
